Have you ever looked yourself in the eyes, in the heart with God, and seen elements of Judas looking back? 😂 I’m serious like a heart attack. 😳

If you know me, you know that I’ve had this long running conversation with God about Judas and Jesus: I mean, why? You know it all; why would You keep him by You, in Your close circle, with the twelve whom You’re mentoring for leadership after You’ve left? And you’ve probably heard me say some time ago that in my own life I saw myself as Judas – no one else can betray me as well as I can.

This is the thing that I love about life with God. He’s not afraid to wound me, and I’m learning not to be afraid to let Him. His incisions are always perfectly executed, and His repair is precise and perfectly restorative. Because faithful are the wounds of a friend, or the slap 👋🏾, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Remember this always.

But back to the Judas in me. In fact it is absolutely not the Judas in me. Judas was a human being like any other, just like you and me. It is the me in me. Elements of human nature, elements of knowing evil. The result of environment and experience; nature and nurture. We carry around massive beams that stick out of our eyes, and knock others out while we try to blow dust out of their eyes. Psst. Secret. People feel their dust, and can pretty much handle it on their own. But that beam sis, that beam needs more people.

So God has lined up a whoooole cloud of witnesses to help with my beam work. From Adam to now. The point is that when I see my beams I won’t run out and hang myself thereby becoming maggot food. God hopes that I will feel cut to the heart by His piercing gaze of love – because He’s already told me over and over that the evil one is trying to “sift me like wheat”, and then I’ll come back to talk with Him, to reaffirm our love, mine for Him, and His for me, and then carry on with the business of loving and sharing the hope of living in love with Him. The cloud of witnesses matter, because one common thread runs through our experience: God loves us regardless of what we do, and He has literally given everything to ensure that we can choose to return to His love, or not. He has ensured that despair is never our inheritance. Look in my eyes and hear me say with the cloud of witnesses that you never ever HAVE to be maggot food. You get to choose life AND you are fully loved. God delights to see what you would like to become, and He is here for all of it.

So this morning was the end of this round of God surgery. I almost keeled over with laughter when He said, “ Yeah. They can’t stand you either.” If you know, you know, and if you don’t find it on Feb 20.22, So I Go To Church. On Sunday we had done some Judas work; on Monday we did some more; on Tuesday we took a praise break, and then THIS morning as soon as I awoke He hit me with the punchline: “Yeah. They can’t stand you either.” He’s so funny. I like Him.

Anyway, see you in church some time. But friend, please believe that I very much meant it when I said that I’m not here for a whited sepulchre life, so we better wake the fuck up, and start being us instead of being hollow echo chambers of selfishness. Judas was a disciple just like all the others. He spoke truth and worked in the name of Jesus. His fatal flaw was that he thought to force change HIS way. I don’t plan to make myself maggot food. I definitely plan to keep speaking truth and living in love.

“The evil that men do lives after them. The good is oft interred with their bones”. Let’s change that. Celebrate the good, and let evil die.

Coming to you from MY place. I see MY face. Much love.

Hmm… You know, let’s not bury the evil. For it is in knowing the light and the dark that we know the whole of anything, and so how can we truly know each other if we do not allow the light and the dark of us to tell a complete story. So here is what I think. Instead of burying the good, let’s begin to keep the good alive, and see every whole person, for more than just the harm that they have done.