Ten years ago I had a pretty major surgery, and I was super terrified about dying under anesthesia. I went in to do it anyway, because when I decide to do a thing, I do it – right down to making a will. Because if the damn anaesthesiologist killed me, at least I had everything else under control. (I’ve been paying for my funeral for the same reason).

Long story short – I woke up feeling like a rockstar. I had a great sleep (yay anaesthesiologist) and some powerful stuff that numbed all the pain. I was walking all over that ward at Langley Hospital – bouncing off the walls on a super duper rested high – a couple of annoying organs and uninvited squatters lighter.

The nurses and doctor were amazed. I was discharged that same night because I was so happy and full of energy(cue Pharrell).

And then I woke up the next morning…

Fuck! It hurt, and my friend who’d stayed overnight had gone to work. Intestinal bloating, paiiiin. Expelling that gas? PAIIIIIIIN. Tiny incision sites. Pain. Please God. Senokot. Did I say pain?? Kill me now.

Prescription for pain medication filled. Sweet relief. Then I rested and took it as easy as I needed to take it for the next six weeks.

Ten years down the line I have a rare twinge that I think may be related to overdoing it in the first few post-op hours. Otherwise, shedding those problematic bits was the best decision that I’d ever made.

Moral of the story? When we go through any healing processes we will feel pumped full of hope and refreshed by the sweet rest of love. That’s so perfectly wonderful. Enjoy that. And also know that healing takes time. So let’s be joyfully gentle with ourselves.

We may share common healers and healing processes, and please remember that our recovery will be very unique to us, because our internal chemistry and life circumstances are as varied as the number of stars in the sky.

We’re all healing, friends, I have faith in that. I can see the sun rising for each of us in perfect time. It’s all right.

💚🌈🦋🌅

PS: Like two or three days after surgery I went to church on another I’m a happy warrior high. Drove myself there 🤦🏾‍♀️.

I’m a slow and stubborn processor. Slow – beautiful; ideas marinate, release their natural essence and meld, producing amazing flavour. Stubborn – well pain teaches lessons too. Grateful for that and hopeful that I will keep stepping out of the hole of stubbornness. Because the flip side of stubbornness is being resolute, and I am that too.