Last Thursday, March 26, 2020, I sat with God, as usually I do, this time consciously surrendering to His Higher Power of love, to lift the suffocating burden of suffering, as only He can. I felt the weight of the darkness of global uncertainty. I feel these things deeply. I see people, as He designed me to. He has designed me to see beyond “the outward appearance”, and I have asked Him to filter my vision through His lens. Some people see numbers, some people see concepts, some people see buildings, some people see songs, some people see people. When we put all this vision together, we connect, we intersect, we challenge and support each other; we excel.

I see people, and so the weight of suffering, the weight of our world’s intensified fear, as we battle this new microscopic viral enemy, COVID-19, sat heavily on me. Personally I felt peace. I know my Good Shepherd. He repeatedly rescues and provides for me. And yet the weight of global fear was pressing in on me. I sat with Him, intentionally feeling all the uncertainty, surrendering the fear to Him, and as usual He brought me a song as solace, Abide With Me. https://youtu.be/84YASWe3_2QAbide: To stay/reside with; remain; continue; to endure, sustain or withstand without yielding or submitting. To be constant, according to dictionary.com. Listening to that old, familiar hymn completely soothed my heart. My Father reminded me that He has already chosen to abide with me, and I in Him, if I choose. Again, I handed Him my grief, and He handed me peace. We’ll likely have to go through that process again, as He often has to remind me that we are all safe with Him. I am so grateful for His patience.

And because He knew that I needed the energy to tackle the task of opening a new door, even with present pandemic concerns, He sent me to this song: https://youtu.be/84YASWe3_2Q – Unchangeable by Joepraize. And then He hit me with this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=RDBfH4M15M9Fk&feature=share&playnext=1

Bro, Sis, y’all, someone had compiled alllll the fliest songs that I could ever ask for. I knocked out a resumé; I folded laundry (if you know, you know), I danced; I sang; I grooved. It was beautiful. I shared the groove on that day. I wish that I had also shared then the darker place in which I had begun.

I don’t easily share the things that press most deeply on me. I generally process those things alone. I have learned to hear God as He guides me to His word, and as He guides me to books or workshops by other people who have walked the same path. And I share as the weight is being lifted, to help encourage someone else, or I will speak with another person, very few, very select people, if I feel that I am way too close to despair. I don’t know that this is the best way to be. In fact, I’m pretty close to certain that it is not the best way to be. I need to learn to trust the people whom God has brought into my life by birth, or through life’s journey.

We’re in this life together. We were made for connection, not just to God, but we were made to connect with each other. We are always better together. Our various ways of being and seeing bring unique light to the hearts we meet, to our own hearts. I hope that my sharing here will encourage someone else to connect both to God, and to the safe people around them. If you’re not sure who is safe, ask God to help you see the helpers. I can promise you that He will.

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,^[a]
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.

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❤️🌈